Manifesto/1.0 Comparisons

It has been decided to have a Twitter English "translation" of the Manifesto. Now we have to decide which of the recently-proposed changes should be made in the Original Version, and which should be made only in the Twitter Version. Where needed, we've split the changes into multiple independent changes per principle, so that they can be judged individually.

What Changes Are Not Part of This Comparison

From the 1.0 Changes document, we have already accepted and so are not considering:

Include explicit reference to privacy in #4
Beef up references to "web literacy" in #5

Rationale: These two changes were previously approved and will be made to the original version without further discussion.

Shortened Versions

Rationale:There are three principles that in their original versions are longer than 118 characters. They need to be shortened for the Twitter English version to no more than 118 characters. (Note that the numbers in parentheses are character counts.) It needs to be decided whether these changes should also be made in the Original Version.

Shorten Principle #1

Original: The Internet is an integral part of modern life—a key component in education, communication, collaboration, business, entertainment and society as a whole. (157)

Altered: The Internet is integral to modern life: education, communication, collaboration, business, entertainment and society. (118)

Shorten Principle #6

Original: The effectiveness of the Internet as a public resource depends upon interoperability (protocols, data formats, content), innovation and decentralized participation worldwide. (174)

Altered: As a public resource, the Internet depends on interoperability, innovation and decentralized participation worldwide. (118)

Shorten Principle #9

Original: Commercial involvement in the development of the Internet brings many benefits; a balance between commercial goals and public benefit is critical. (146)

Altered: A balance between commercial profit and public benefit is critical to the development of the Internet. (105)

Text Change Proposals Unrelated to Shortening

Rationale: These are additional text change suggestions that came after the initial approvals. They are intended to make the Manifesto crisper. A decision should be made on whether to incorporate them in the Original Version or the Twitter Version, or both, or neither.

Removal of 'Individuals'

Rationale: Additional words that are not central to the meaning can be removed to make the Manifesto crisper. In #4, the word "Individuals'" can be removed. This has the added benefit of further differentiating the first word of #4 from the first word of #5.

Approved #4: Individuals' security and privacy on the Internet are fundamental and cannot be treated as optional.

Altered #4: Security and privacy on the Internet are fundamental and cannot be treated as optional.

Consistent Use of "Must" and "Must Not"

Rationale: Principles #2 and #5 set the tone by using "must", yet #3 uses "should" and #4 uses "cannot". Principles are thought to be stronger and crisper if all four use "must" or "must not".

Original #3: The Internet should enrich the lives of individual human beings.

Altered #3: The Internet must enrich the lives of individual human beings.

Approved #4: Individuals' security and privacy on the Internet are fundamental and cannot be treated as optional.

Altered #4: Individuals' security and privacy on the Internet are fundamental and must not be treated as optional.

Change 'goals' to 'profit'

Rationale: "Commercial profit" and "public benefit" contrast much better than "commercial goals" and "public benefit".

Original #9: Commercial involvement in the development of the Internet brings many benefits; a balance between commercial goals and public benefit is critical.

Altered #9: Commercial involvement in the development of the Internet brings many benefits; a balance between commercial profit and public benefit is critical.

Comma Removal #1

Rationale: Removing commas can make the text crisper and in some cases make the meaning clearer.

Approved #5: Individuals must have the ability to shape the Internet, and their own experiences on it.

Altered #5: Individuals must have the ability to shape the Internet and their own experiences on it.

Comma Removal #2

Rationale: 'Oxford comma' is removed for consistency with the other principles.

Original #8: Transparent community-based processes promote participation, accountability, and trust.

Altered #8: Transparent community-based processes promote participation, accountability and trust.

Comma Removal #3