Manifesto/1.0 Comparisons
This is a comparison of the original 0.9 version to:
1) Shortened versions proposed as an "English Twitter Translation" of the Manifesto. These versions are limited to no more than 118 characters.
2) Wording change suggestions that are not related to length. These suggestions came after the two that were approved during the initial process.
Where needed, we've split the changes into multiple independent changes per principle, so that they can be judged as best for the "original version" or best for the "Twitter version".
What Changes Are Not Part of This Comparison
2.1 Include explicit reference to privacy
2.3 Beef up references to "web literacy"
These two changes were previously approved and will be made, to the original version, without further discussion.
Shortened Versions
There are three principles that in their original versions are longer than 118 characters. Note that the numbers in parentheses are character counts. Also note that shortened versions must be no more than 118 characters.
Principle #1
Original: The Internet is an integral part of modern life—a key component in education, communication, collaboration, business, entertainment and society as a whole. (157)
Shortened: The Internet is integral to modern life: education, communication, collaboration, business, entertainment and society. (118)
Principle #6
Original: The effectiveness of the Internet as a public resource depends upon interoperability (protocols, data formats, content), innovation and decentralized participation worldwide. (174)
Shortened: As a public resource, the Internet depends on interoperability, innovation and decentralized participation worldwide. (118)
Principle #9
Original: Commercial involvement in the development of the Internet brings many benefits; a balance between commercial goals and public benefit is critical. (146)
Shortened: A balance between commercial profit and public benefit is critical to the development of the Internet. (105)
Versions for Languages Where Further Shortening May Be Needed
Principle #3: The Internet should enrich the lives of individuals human beings.
- (Note a further proposed change is 4.2 below that could be incorporated here as well.)
These are additional text change suggestions that came after the initial approvals. They are intended to make the Manifesto crisper.
Remove Words
Rationale: Additional words that are not central to the meaning can be removed to make the Manifesto crisper.
Approved #4: Individuals' security and privacy on the Internet are fundamental and cannot be treated as optional.
Alternate #4: Security and privacy on the Internet are fundamental and cannot be treated as optional.
Proposed #4: See below in next section.
Consistent use of the words "must" and "must not"
Rationale: Principles #2 and #5 set the tone by using "must", yet #3 uses "should" and #4 uses "cannot". Principles are thought to be stronger and crisper if all four use "must" or "must not".
Original #3: The Internet should enrich the lives of individual human beings.
Proposed #3: The Internet must enrich the lives of individual human beings.
Approved #4: Individuals' security and privacy on the Internet are fundamental and cannot be treated as optional.
Alternate #4: Individuals' security and privacy on the Internet are fundamental and must not be treated as optional.
Proposed #4: Security and privacy on the Internet are fundamental and must not be treated as optional.
Removal of commas
Removing commas can make the text crisper and in some cases make the meaning clearer.
Approved #5: Individuals must have the ability to shape the Internet, and their own experiences on it.
Proposed #5: Individuals must have the ability to shape the Internet and their own experiences on it.
Original #10: Magnifying the public benefit aspects of the Internet is an important goal, worthy of time, attention and commitment.
Proposed #10: Magnifying the public benefit aspects of the Internet is an important goal worthy of time, attention and commitment.